I often hear people quoting Gary Chapman’s book on the Five Love Languages. I’ve read his book and I’ve found it useful. Chapman believes that everyone has a love language and that once we’re aware of it, it’s easier to build relationships especially when two people speak different languages.
Ahh, the Picture of Love
Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts and Acts of Service are Chapman’s five categories of love. While he ascertains that each of us has a dominant language, he concedes that it’s likely that we each have a secondary language also.
Physical Touch is self explanatory. There are those of us that want a hug and in my home and with my boys, that describes me perfectly. However, it’s my secondary language as I’m dominated by a desire for Words of Affirmation. I love to hear that I’ve done a good job at work or preparing a meal. Those strong positive words that reinforce my value and my being are incredibly welcome and ironically, my dear husband speaks the same language.
Quality Time describes those who truly thrive on the time spent with loved ones. My youngest son falls into this category as he still cannot wait for his evening bedtime story and loves to do activities with us.
Gifts is the language of my oldest son and the hardest for me as I have no gifting aptitude at all. The word “gift” comes from the Greek word “charis”, which means grace or an undeserved gift. This means that gifts given have nothing to do with an expectation (or a holiday) and are truly meant as a manifestation of love.
The Five Love Languages would have me believe that a love for cooking and a love for feeding others is the language known as Acts of Service. It is in many cases but in my case, parenting is just a service-oriented vocation.
As we approach Valentine’s Day, often known as the holiday of love, a great meal is part of the celebration and in my kitchen, my love language is roasted cauliflower.
The heavenly taste of roasted cauliflower acts as a physical touch on my being. The compliments about the roasted sweetness are strong, words of affirmation. Sitting around the table, eating together is quality time. My dinner, given that I am not one to purchase gifts, is my present to my family for their enduring love. And finally, yes, this thing called family is an Act of Service.
My Favorite part of the Winter CSA
Roasting Cauliflower with Fennel
Valentine Perfection
Roasted Cauliflower
Serves six
- one giant head of cauliflower separated into florets
- 3 small fennel bulbs sliced
- 1/3 cup of olive
- salt
- fresh ground pepper
- red pepper flakes
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spread cauliflower and fennel out on a large baking sheet covered with parchment paper. Drizzle olive oil over the vegetables. Add salt and ground pepper. Bake for 15 minutes and then stir well. Bake another 15 minutes. Top with red pepper flakes and serve immediately. Savor with your loved ones.
Agrigirl's Blog 
Sally Mom
/ February 12, 2012Such a lovely gift to share. Happy Valentines Day, Tammy Dear. Thank you for your gift of knowledge and enthusiasim and sharing wonderful recipes and stories. I buy cauliflower every two weeks. So versatile and healthy. Will try this with fennel and do not forget curry!
Tammy
/ February 12, 2012I roasted so much extra so that we can have soup tomorrow!
Rukmini Roy
/ February 12, 2012Oh, fantastic. I love cauliflowers too. We make it with black onion seeds, spring onions and red and black pepper with very little olive oil. Tastes lovely 🙂
Tammy
/ February 12, 2012Actually Indian cauliflower recipes are fantastic.
baconbiscuit212
/ February 12, 2012My mom also is a fan of Gary Chapman’s book. I never thought of the Acts of Service as extending to food, but it makes so much sense.
Also, your roasted cauliflower looks terrific. I never thought of roasting it with fennel before. What a wonderful idea!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012And the leftovers make great soup!
montucky
/ February 12, 2012I love cauliflower! My wife is a wonderful cook, and I consider her cooking to be a gift too! I can think of none better.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012You’re a good man!
Mands
/ February 12, 2012I love cauliflower, don’t like fennel…. so will skip that part. 🙂 I love your article… and your sincerity shines in each word. I have a question, (sincere question) ~ would you just have cauliflower for a meal… or would there be anything else that goes with it? And… anyone who can cook, great tasting food and then serve it so it looks pretty, I believe are love connoisseur. Thanks Tammy!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012I made bokchoy as a side. The big boys had a steak and the little guy and I ate a piece of cod.
Debbie
/ February 13, 2012Tammy, this looks wonderful. I’m going to ask if my hubby will eat it . .. or should I just fix it and surprise him? hmmmm! I love how you worked this into the love languages. You speak love so well!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Thanks Debbie. I hope he likes it.
promenadeplantings
/ February 13, 2012A great post.
I’ve recently discovered the WOW of roasted cauliflower, and can’t get enough, it’s just a shame my attempts at growing it are so poor!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012When I grew it, I had to catch it at exactly the right minute.
inherchucks
/ February 13, 2012Wow! This recipe looks divine. I just received some cauliflower in my csa box this week (http://inherchucks.com/2012/02/09/whats-in-the-box-13/) and plan on trying it. thanks for the inspiration!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012You are welcome!
Tandy
/ February 13, 2012what an informative post! I have never heard of this before but it rings so true 🙂
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012You might like the book.
daisyfae
/ February 13, 2012normally, i’m not one to find much use in the ‘self-help book’ variety, but this one rings true to me… communication of needs/wants is a tough nut to crack. i tend to need/give ‘acts of service’ and ‘quality time’. although i am no cook! the recipe seems simple enough even for me! thanks for sharing!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012That’s the deal. We all tend to love the way we like it and the reality is that it isn’t the same for everyone.
Gabe Hamilton
/ February 13, 2012Happy Valentines day, Mom! I love you! And it was an amazing dinner last night!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Thank you.
Son Calvin
/ February 13, 2012Dear Mom,
Happy Valentines Day! By the way your cauliflower was amazing last night! I enjoyed how it had a nice spice to it. I love you!
Love Calvin
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012I’m glad you enjoyed that nice spice!
Robin Mullet
/ February 13, 2012I love the extra sweetness and rich flavor of roasted veggies-any roasted veggie. But I have not tried cauliflower yet. It looks delicious. Thank you for the information on Gary Chapman’s book. I have not read it but will now. Winter is my time to read things that are introspective and thought-provoking.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012It is a Christian book if you’re ok with that but I like his thinking about us speaking different languages.
moreplants
/ February 13, 2012There seems to be some sort of fennel renaissance going on. Another one of my favorite food blogs posted a recipe with fennel too. The recipes both look good, but unfortunately, I’m one of those people who thinks fennel tastes too much like licorice, which I never liked, even as a Pez-addicted kid. I will, however, definitely add the red pepper flakes to my cauliflower. That sounds like a great change from my usual thyme and rosemary.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012kalamata olives are great also!
Chris Antrim
/ February 13, 2012It never dawned on me that preparing a meal is an act of service. Fantastic post.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Thank you Chris!
Dear Husband
/ February 13, 2012Sweet wife, nobody has your talent to combine ordinary vegetables with spices and love to come up with the kinds of amazing amazing dishes that you do. Happy Valentines Day! I love you!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Love you too! Thanks and I’ll cook veggies for you any time.
nrhatch
/ February 13, 2012Yes. Please! That looks SCRUMPTIOUS!
nrhatch
/ February 13, 2012If you’re interested, here’s my post on his book:
http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/how-do-you-love/
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012LOve it and I missed it earlier. Your BFF and you are just like DH and I – same profiles.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012I knew you’d love it.
suzallard
/ February 13, 2012Yummalicious!! Thanks for reminding me about the love languages, I was actually trying to describe them to my kids the other day and couldn’t remember them all. I’ll have to try the recipe too. And some words of affirmation for you: You are an amazing woman, not only a talented executive and leader but a thoughtful, sensitive mother!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Ahhhhhhhh. Now I feel better. Thank you!
therootedtable
/ February 13, 2012Looks delicious and healthy! We have been getting cauliflower in our CSA and I’ve struggled to find ways to use it. I can’t wait to try this recipe. Thanks!!!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Give it a shot and if you have left overs, make soup.
herbanlifestyle
/ February 13, 2012Lovely words, Tammy. I haven’t read Chapman’s book, but that’s a very interesting take on how to better understand your family members expressions of, and ability to receive, love. Plus you made the cauliflower look delicious 🙂 Happy Valentine’s Day!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012I don’t think everything can be put into categories but I like Chapman’s book nonetheless. Happy back at you.
milkayphoto
/ February 13, 2012I’ve never heard of Love’s languages – very interesting! You’ve given me ‘food for thought!” 🙂
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Give it a read and tell me what you think.
Linda
/ February 13, 2012What a great post. I read that book many years ago. I heard reference to it last week and now again this week. I’ll have a re- look at it. My husband’s love language is ‘quality time’. I had to laugh yesterday, when I went to my favorite home decorating store alone to browse around. After an hour or so, he surprised me when he suddenly peeked around a pillar. I guess he needed his ‘quality time’ tank filled up. 🙂 The dish looks yummy.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Cute! it must be something that you should pay attention to if it’s come up twice in a week…
Auburn Meadow Farm
/ February 13, 2012I’m an acts of service/gifts sort of girl…
That cauliflower looks pretty amazing – I just happen to have been given one and was wondering whether to pickle or make soup. Maybe roast first, pickle leftovers??
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012ooh. I would always roast first but I do like it pickled if it’s spicy.
The Good Greatsby
/ February 13, 2012I’ve never enjoyed cauliflower in any dish, but maybe this recipe is just what I needed.
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Yes, relatively certain that this can push you right over the edge on cauliflower.
jeanne
/ February 13, 2012Tammy speaks 5 languages…loved it!
Tammy
/ February 13, 2012Thank you Jeanne! That’s so sweet.
flippingchannels
/ February 14, 2012That was lovely. Anyone who gets to spend Valentine’s Day with you should consider themselves lucky. (Especially if you’re cooking for them!)
Tammy
/ February 14, 2012Thanks so much. It was fun to write and fun to cook.
Tes
/ February 14, 2012It sounds like a great side dish for Valentine’s 🙂
Tammy
/ February 14, 2012Thank you and “fixed it” 😉
kateshrewsday
/ February 14, 2012That cauliflower looks wonderful, Tammy 🙂
Inger Wilkerson
/ February 14, 2012Looks delicious! You are so fortunate to get fresh local product now (not to mention being able to “forage” the local citrus trees)!
Tammy
/ February 14, 2012Yes, I have quite a bit of foraging in my own yard that needs to happen THIS week.
Eric
/ February 14, 2012Wow, so simple and it looks yummy. Baked squash chunks like this are the bomb too — with garlic, of course. Beautiful post, Tammy. Happy Valentine’s Day.
love, E
Tammy
/ February 15, 2012I did forget to mention the garlic, didn’t I? Hmmm. My bad. Love squash chunks too. Hope you had a happy day E.
Kath (My Funny Little Life)
/ February 15, 2012I’ve recently learned about the love languages as well, and I really like the concept. I’ve so often experienced that people miss each other when communicating, and both feel like they give a lot but don’t receive anything back. That’s sad because they actually *do* give, but it’s not understood by the other person. I believe many intimate and family relationships and friendships suffer from a lack of understanding mutual needs.
The roasted cauliflower looks absolutely wonderful. I think you did pretty well on the gift language with this one. 🙂
Tammy
/ February 15, 2012I think so too Kath.
authorjaneward
/ February 15, 2012I love cauli, and making this would be a gift to myself! BTW, Tammy, I just nominated you for a blogging award on my blog. You’ll see what it’s all about when you get the post.
Tammy
/ February 15, 2012I’m so flattered. Thanks so much Jane.
Jen
/ February 15, 2012I read that book last year and found it fascinating, especially the stories of the couples that were profiled. We usually think that verbal communication is all there is, but there are so many other ways we communicate love. I think I’m a Words of Affirmation person, followed by Quality Time.
Also — wanted to let you know I tried your suggestion of putting turnips in mashed potatoes. I got a recipe from Cooks Illustrated — they were marvelous! Just wanted to thank you for the suggestion. My post mentioning the potatoes is here: http://willblog4food.wordpress.com/2012/02/15/csa-update-triumphant-turnips-amongst-other-things/
Tammy
/ February 15, 2012Jen,
Thanks for letting me know! Glad it worked out for you.
vianney
/ February 15, 2012great combo, I love roasting fennel with veggies adds such a great zing!
parenting is just a service-oriented vocation – great line..
Tammy
/ February 15, 2012Yes, the hardest service I’ve ever performed!
nancy at good food matters
/ February 16, 2012Thanks, Tammy—I didn’t know about Chapman’s book. I love cauliflower raw, and cooked all ways, but Isn’t it simply AMAZING what roasting does to it? beyond the beyond good.
Tammy
/ February 17, 2012Yes, beyond the beyond.
Sophie
/ February 17, 2012What & lovely roasted vegetables dish! I love cauliflower & fennel a lot but never combined them together & roasting them must add tons of flavour!
Yum! 🙂
Tammy
/ February 17, 2012Do try it Sophie. You will love it!
debbrunson
/ February 17, 2012I may have been tempted- if only briefly- to let some of my cauliflower find its’ way into the swap bin… no more! This looks fantastic- thank you for posting-
Tammy
/ February 17, 2012Let me know if you try it. We’ve got a tiny bit left over and now, sadly, I think we’re beyond cauli-season.
hotlyspiced
/ February 18, 2012I’ve read that book and I loved it. Finally I understood myself. My love language is acts of service – such a shame for my husband who doesn’t like to do anything!
Tammy
/ February 18, 2012Maybe he needs to read it!
Hannah
/ February 19, 2012Oh yes, words of affirmation and cooking would definitely be my top two! (If cooking existed in the lexicon.) Followed closely by hugs and roasted cauliflower…
Tammy
/ February 20, 2012Yeah, that’s all just love!
Dan P
/ February 22, 2012Tammy, thanks so much for your feedback on my posts. And even more thanks for your blog–as a ‘foodie’–is that a love language?–I love seeing these pictures of your roasted cauliflower. Got me planning some upcoming winter meals…Btw, roasting parsnips with a little salt, red and black pepper, and olive oil is also an easy and delicious winter dish.
Tammy
/ February 22, 2012Parsnips are absolutely my other favorite!
goodyearmamakat
/ February 23, 2012Great book! I am not a fan of califlower but this one was pretty good!!!! My new speciality is spicy asparagus.
BTW: My mom was the best at buying the perfect gift. Even things you never knew you wanted or needed. She was amazing. I sure miss her and wished I had her gift!
Tammy
/ February 25, 2012Spicy asparagus has promise in our house!
dayphoto
/ February 29, 2012Yummm I love cauliflower in all it’s many forms!
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
Tammy
/ February 29, 2012me too!
Kristen
/ March 8, 2012That looks absolutely delicious!
Tammy
/ March 8, 2012And it is!